In The Mind of A Thirtysomething Mom

Times Moves Backwards?

Right.

Last week as I was shuffling M back and forth to dance camp, I remembered I needed to make B an appointment for a sports physical for high school.  (Really?  I just got one out of high school and now I've got another starting it?  ACK!)

So I dial up the automated appointment line while waiting in traffic.  I get the following message:

"All agents are currently busy.  You may experience up to a 46 minute wait."

Now I'm not doing anything except sitting in traffic on an hour long drive, so I put the phone on speaker and focus back on the unmoving cars in front of me.  One minute later, I get this message:

"You may experience up to a 18 minute wait."

Now aside from the obvious grammatical error, I'm thrilled that I won't have to listen to horrible patriotic muzak for 45 minutes. (The muzak is horrible, not the fact it's patriotic - even though it's after the 4th at this point)  Another minute passes, and this message comes over the line:

"You may experience up to a 30 minute wait."

Wait what?  I sit dumfounded in traffic for another minute and then hear:

"You may experience up to a 60 minute wait."

Oh em gee!  Seriously?  

The numbers continue in the following fashion:

2 minutes

3 minutes

3 minutes

16 minutes

7 minutes

2 minutes

before I finally get to talk to a human after being on hold for over 9 minutes.

Only to find out there weren't any physicals available.

Good times I tell ya.

P.S.  The agent actually checked the computer again before we hung up, and found they had just released some physical appointments.  We got one.  :)

Preschool Logic

Earlier this week I was driving the girls to dance and we were all singing along with the radio to the fabulous Rich Mullins song, Awesome God.  (If you're not familiar with it, you can see a video of Rich singing it live here.  The song starts at about the 1 minute mark.)

After the song was over, the following conversation took place:

Me:  Great job singing girls!  You guys were super.

M:  *sighs* I love God.

K:  I love God too.

Me:  Yup He is pretty awesome, just like the song says.

K:  Well He made all the trees, of course He's awesome.  Duh.

Gotta love that!  :)

Maybe I Should Have Gone With Strawberry

I recently bought some new shampoo and body wash to try out a new scent.  I went with Lavender/Lilac for the shampoo and Lavender/Vanilla for the body wash.  Saturday was the first time I used these new products and I totally loved the scent.  

Mr. Smoochiefrog and I were hanging out that night and I was telling him about the new stuff.  When I mentioned the body wash he got real excited as he loves the smell of vanilla, then he got dejected when he discovered that the lavender overpowered the vanilla scent.  He asked why I didn't get the one that was just vanilla.  I told him I didn't want to walk around and have people thinking I was a cake or something.  :)

Cut to Monday.

I had just finished doing some chores and there was a strong vanilla scent in the air.  I went to Mr. Frog and asked him to smell me and tell me if it was me.  He did and said he just smelled lavender.  The rest of the conversation went like this:

Me:  "No. I smell vanilla."  Sniffs arm.  "Here, smell my arm right here." (the bicep area of my arm)

Mr. Frog:  Sniffs.  "Yeah, that's totally vanilla right there."

Me:  "See, told you I smelled vanilla!"

Mr. Frog:  Sniffs again.  "You smell like a pancake."

Me:  "And that right there is why I didn't buy the plain vanilla scented body wash."

You're Kidding, Right Mom?

B and I were in the car last week heading to get something to eat. 

I'm jamming to a song on Jack when Paula Abdul's Forever Your Girl comes through the speakers.  The following conversation then took place:

Me:  Dude, Paula Abdul.  I haven't heard this song in forever.

B is bopping his head to the rhythm when he stops suddenly.

B:  Wait, what?

Me:  What what?

B:  Who is this?

Me:  Paula Abdul.

B:  You mean like American Idol Paula Abdul?

Me:  Yes.

B:  When did she make this song?

Me:  Late 80's, early 90's.

B:  Okay then.  That explains it.

Me:  ????

B:  She totally doesn't sound like that now.

Me:  And back then, she totally didn't look like she does now either. 

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For the record, my favs from Idol last night are Alexis and Danny.

Well They Do Kind of Sound The Same

We're sitting at the dinner table last night enjoying an absolutely delish dinner when the following conversation took place:

Me:  "K eat your empanada."

K:  "There's a green thing in it."

Mr. Frog:  "No, that's just spice on the chicken."

M:  "There's chicken in there?"

Mr. Frog:  "Yes there's chicken in there.  There's also cream cheese, red & green bell peppers, colby jack cheese, jalapeno, cumin..."

M:  "There's HUMAN in there?"

Yup, we're cannibals here in the Smoochiefrog household.  Good to know, yeah?
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